November 2012
4 posts
“why do you live in your body like you will be given another? as if it were...”
– warsan shire (via chubby-angel)
April 2012
83 posts
I used to be so alive
And fearless. And perfect.
I was perfect at 15.
6 tags
Setting fire to our insides for fun / Collecting...
It was a flood that wrecked this home.
Sorry I’ve dropped off the radar this past weekend. I haven’t been eating very well and it’s taken me a few days to get back on track. And when I feel bad about my eating I don’t like coming on tumblr… it makes me feel some combination of guilt, shame, desire to do more—none of those things (except the last) feel...
barryyouasshole:
why can’t i take my computer in the shower yet
it’s 2012
house of bones: to do list, 4/18:be kind to... →
house-of-bones:
to do list, 4/18:
be kind to yourself. taking pride in self depravation is dangerous. and ultimately, your refusal to listen to yourself is completely destructive.
remember the chain reaction of the past, present, future. future is dictated by present.
taking it slow and inaction are…
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Starships were meant to fly / Hands up, and touch...
It’s not even 9am yet and so far I already:
went to a 2-hour practice (woke up at 4am)
Ate breakfast (oatmeal!)
Put together my weekly loaf of homemade bread (it’s rising now!)
Cleaned my room and swept the floor
I guess I am a morning person.
Argo Tea Mediterranean Chicken and Eggplant Quinoa
So, so good for only 300 calories! Kind of expensive though… I need to figure out how to make my own version!
“We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year...”
– Courtney Martin (via ceedling)
7 tags
And it feels like I am just too close to love you
Here are some thoughts, hopefully mostly positive, regarding my slow self-recovery, redeveloping confidence, and general body image issues.
In terms of my panic regarding food: I am much better now than I was 2 months ago. I can talk myself out of an anxiety attack when faced with food. I’ve come up with ways to make this easier on myself—I used to panic at the thought of eating out...
“Immigrants wrap their babies in the American flag,
feed them mashed hot dogs...”
– “Immigrants” by lesbian, chicana writer Pat Mora. (via battledress)
6 tags
Just close your eyes / The sun is going down
Ate a really big dinner. I’m so stuffed.
I feel a little worried. I feel like this is a setback when rationally I know it’s not.
I stand in front of the mirror after a meal like this and almost convince myself that I’m fatter. I know I’m not. But I look like it.
I don’t know how to get rid of this anxiety.
I started this day off with so much optimism and hope but...
“What is more troubling than this oddly timed debate about birth control is the...”
– The Alienable Rights Of Women - The Rumpus.net (via rachelfershleiser)
13 tags
Run fast for mother, fast for your father / Run...
New personal record on my workout this morning.
Ate some yummy oatmeal.
No muffin top anymore when I tried on my spandex shorts.
Going to make $80 being a guinea-pig in an allergy study later.
Going to a birthday dinner for a friend.
Today will be awesome.
Back to clean eating today
And everything is good again. I’ve gotten so used to it that over the weekend I felt terrible when eating anything and everything.
Dinner was whole wheat couscous with tuna, black beans, salt. Had some blueberry yogurt too.
“That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient....”
– Ashley Judd (via adrowningwoman)
: I do. →
weight-a-second:
I do commit to myself again. You could say this is sort of like we are saying our vows again and all of that romantic crap.
I’m going to start focusing on my health again. My mental health, my physical health, my overall health. Exercise made me happy and I need to keep that in mind. It really…
Start of a new week!
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I feel so close to you right now it's a force...
I don’t really know how to accept compliments. I think this is the thing that scares me most about men approaching me in bars or clubs—often the first line they’ll use will be a compliment.
And I have to put a lot of mental effort into not gaping like a fish because my mind (my neurotic, cynical, desperately logical mind) is always flashing two steps forward, three steps...
A comic →
gingerhaze:
about a night last year when I walked out of church for the first time.
I’ve been sitting on this one for a while, partially because I wasn’t sure if it made any sense, but also because I was scared to show it to anyone. I’ve never talked about this kind of thing on Tumblr before because it’s such a touchy subject. But it’s Holy Week, and it seems relevant somehow.
This is...
So what we get drunk / So what we smoke weed /...
So much food this weekend, but contrary to the song I’m listening to right now, no actual drink or weed.
Also a lot of exercise, so I think I’m good.
Back to calorie counting tomorrow!
The weather is beautiful today.
